Good Christian men, rejoice
With heart and soul and voice;
Give ye heed to what we say:
News! News!
Jesus Christ is born today:
Ox and ass before him bow
And He is in the manger now.
Christ is born today!
Christ is born today!
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God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen,
Let nothing you dismay;
Remember Christ, our Saviour,
Was born on Christmas day,
To save us all from Satan’s power
When we were gone astray.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
comfort and joy,
O tidings of comfort and joy.
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While shepherds kept their watching
Over silent flocks by night,
Behold throughout the heavens,
There shone a holy light:
Go, Tell It On The Mountain,
Over the hills and everywhere;
Go, Tell It On The Mountain
That Jesus Christ is born.
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(dr. Elmo, 1979, dr. Elmo’s Twisted Christmas)

Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer,
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as Santa,
but as for me and grandpa we believe.
She’d been drinking too much eggnog,
and we begged her not to go.
But she forgot her medication, and she
staggered out the door into the snow.
When we found her Christmas morning,
at the scene of the attack,
she had hoof-prints on her forehead,
and incriminating Claus marks on her back.
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